Vince Lombardi famously said, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” Turns out that’s not exactly true. Research shows we stay far, too long in our jobs, relationships and friendships and it doesn’t serve us well. It keeps us connected to people that no longer reflect who we are and keeps us away from those who might add to our joy instead of subtracting from it.
The wife of a couple I worked with complained that her husband so overdid it in a military training exercise that he lost 25% of his body weight, his urine turned brown, and he began hallucinating. He finally withdrew from the program just days before it ended. She was relieved. However, he considered himself ‘a failure’ because he didn’t complete it.
“Would you have been happier to complete it and end up in the hospital or worse?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I would have.”
The wife of another couple was often physically assaulted by her husband of only three years but vowed to remain in the marriage.
“Why?” I asked her.
“Because I said, ‘until death do us part.’”
“So, you plan to stay married to someone who abuses you, until you die?” I asked.
“I guess,” she answered.
Winning poker player and psychologist, Annie Duke, says that we don’t quit things soon enough and she may be right. One wonders why we push the same boulder up the mountain like Sisyphus, only to have it fall back down every day. I once stayed in a miserable job for two years as every employee around me was fired. I finally quit—but what took me so long? Honoring my contract.
My grandmother believed you should always quit something while you were still having fun. Once, we were at the beach and I didn’t want to leave.
“Please Granny,” I begged. “Can’t we stay just a little bit longer?”
“No,” she replied. “Let’s leave while you’re still having a good time. That way, you’ll always remember it happily.”
Quitting is a great skill to master if you can do it. Whether you remain where you are or move on takes courage. You can watch the carousel go round or you can get on and ride it. Only you know what feels right. Barbra Streisand captured the sentiment perfectly in this gem, recorded almost 60 years ago; a gentle reminder that clowns can’t be ‘constantly clever’ and the music won’t ‘play on forever.’
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